Coffee Break

22 Oct

I’m about to reveal something shocking about myself. Brace yourselves…

I have never been to a Starbucks.

Well actually, that’s a lie. I had never been to a Starbucks until today.

(I know, I know…like I said, shocking)

Yes sir, today was one for the history books. I left the security of my comfort zone and ventured into uncharted territory: the Starbucks outside of our UTM library.

As you may have already guessed, I’m not normally a coffee drinker.

Well, actually, that’s kind of a lie too.

Truth is, I’ve never had a cup of coffee in my life. And I did not intend to break that streak today…but I did.

I went to Starbucks with my roommate because I am still recovering from being sick. I thought that a hot drink would be good for me and my achin’ throat.

My intention was to get a hot chocolate.

I love hot chocolate. I drink it all the time. If I don’t have hot chocolate in my house, something is very wrong. I don’t want to say I’m addicted but…I really love it.

Why am I telling you this?

Well, I just really want you to be able to imagine my outrage when I saw that hot chocolate at Starbucks is under the category of “Kids Drinks”.

My only question is: Why?

They had some kind of chocolate chai tea that wasn’t a “Kid’s Drink”…that’s close enough to hot chocolate, right? So why aren’t they in the same category? Somebody tell me!

What makes hot chocolate an immature drink?

Timmies doesn’t have hot chocolate on their menu under “Kids Drinks”.

Is Starbucks telling me that if I don’t drink coffee I’m not an adult? If the law can recognize me as an adult, why can’t you, Starbucks?! Are you above the law, Starbucks?! Huh? HUH?

Man, I have never been so upset with a coffee chain in my life!

But that wasn’t even the worst part about this whole experience: I let the sign win. I actually felt like I couldn’t order hot chocolate because I’m too old.

So I was forced to make a drastic move: I ordered coffee.

A pumpkin spice latte to be exact.

I have to admit, it was pretty good. It wasn’t hot chocolate but…anyways…I guess I’ll get over it.

Overall, this was an interesting experience for me for two main reasons:

1) Where I’m from, there are no Starbucks. We have about a million different Tim Horton’s, but that’s it. I always associate Starbucks with the big city because that’s where they always seem to be. Toronto is no exception. I feel like now I’m finally a true Torontonian…it’s like I’ve been initiated into city life.

2) I found out that some drinks have higher statuses than others. “Lattes” are apparently too good to be put on a menu alongside “hot chocolate”. (Still not over it. I want hot drink equality!)

I realize that for most university students this experience would not be so noteworthy.

But for me, it was monumental.

I have never once felt like I needed coffee to get through a day of class or to stay up all night studying. But a lot of students do. The line-ups at Starbucks are always ridiculously long and people come away carrying cups that are ridiculously huge.

Is coffee really a necessary study aid? Why is it that coffee is such a huge part of student life?

Please tell me, I need to understand the mystery that is ‘Starbucks Coffee’.

Oh, and is coffee addictive? Because I’m afraid that if I keep having to order coffee instead of hot chocolate, I may get hooked.

Isn’t coffee like, a gateway drug or something? Don’t they say that it’s one of the hardest things to quit? Doesn’t caffeine give you the shakes?

So many unanswered questions.

I think I’ll play it safe and just go to Tim Horton’s….thank goodness for their lack of beverage discrimination!!!


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